I don’t know about you, but I am glad 2019 is over!
Don’t get me wrong, it hasn’t been all bad, but has been a huge struggle for me.
This year, I published my first book (The Miscarriage Project), launched my new business brand, Bold and Beautiful. My husband graduated with his MA, and honestly, forgot this until I was reminded, because this year has been so full – the good, the bad, and the ugly!
This year I struggled. This has been the hardest year in terms of dealing with anxiety. I don’t know which is worse, the anxiety or the depression. Either your’e too sad and sluggish to get out of bed, or you’re too jittery and scared to go to bed. It’s a toss up.
Just within 2019, we lost so many people. In our church congregation, there were 12 funerals. I lost my one and only college roommate to cancer, and one of our college brother-floor guys committed suicide, both just before Thanksgiving. One grandma-in-law died in August, and the other, was admitted to the nursing home 2 days before Christmas. Not to mention all of the miscarriages, (of people I know), experienced this year.
This was a sad, sad year people. Tears well up in my eyes as think about the preceding paragraph. So much loss.
However, every new year brings a fresh new season of hope.
In 2020, I hope to:
- Beat anxiety and depression, as I gradually go off my meds.
- Invest in my personal and spiritual health.
- Be more intentional making “breathing room” in my and my families lives and schedules.
- Publish 1-2 more books this year.
- Not avoid what God has me to do, but boldly charge ahead to fulfill the call.
- Fully grieve those I’ve lost.
For myself, I know I have so many goals and hopes for this new year, and probably by next December, I will have forgotten them. Although, if I press on, be consistent, and remind myself what I’m aiming for, then I will stay focused on the prize ahead.
“God, please help me to have a more calm and peaceful year. Give me eyes to see those I am to help, and give me strength to say no to those things that will steal my time, joy, and family time. Sustain me every moment with your love, peace, comfort, and joy. Protect me as I follow you, and watch over my family. Give me the boldness to follow your calling for my life this year. In Jesus name, Amen.“