First of all, I don’t hate October, what it represents just hurts my heart. My dad has an October birthday, so I have to enjoy it a little bit, lol.
At the end of this month is Halloween, the holiday when evil, Satan, and godlessness is celebrated. As a Christian, I cannot support this holiday.
I do not understand the world’s fascination with death and destruction. Why do we celebrate it on Halloween, but then suffer the rest of the year, when someone dies? So much irony here.
Now that we have children in school, it is much harder to navigate how much to allow them to participate. For now, we’ve decided costumes and candy are okay, but are very clear in our explanation of the purpose and evil this holiday represents.
Pregnancy & Infant Loss Awareness
For the entire month, primarily October 15th, is Pregnancy & Infant Loss Awareness month.
For those of you who’ve experience this loss, I host a private support group on Facebook. I share my own story and struggles, prayers for recent losses, and share other organizations resources for you to view. Please let me know if you would like to be a part of this group.
On May 9th, 2016, my life was forever changed. It was the first time I even felt God had abandoned me for real and not answered my prayers. Not true, but that’s how I felt at the time.
My Heart Now
Now that I’m expecting for the sixth time, has not changed the fear, anxiety and worry for this baby’s life. Once you’ve miscarried or lost an infant, that naive attitude of everything will work out and be alright, dies too.
Please pray that myself, and all those parents out there suffering, would find peace, comfort, love, healing, and encouragement this month.
Though this month weighs heavy on me, for two reasons, let’s not waste the time we have. Reach out to those who are hurting, in any capacity, and show Christ’s love to them. Be there, because no one else might.
As the author of The Miscarriage Project, I’ve been thinking long and hard about October. October, for those of you who aren’t aware, is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness month, and October 15th is the remembrance day as well.
Even though it’s been almost four and a half years since my miscarriage, dwelling on the loss of a child still stings in my soul.
A Unique Kind of Grief
Losing a child is a unique kind of grief. Especially when you never got to meet that child. All of the what-if’s and shoulda, coulda, woulda’s of their life break over you like tidal waves.
A couple of friends of mine recently lost a baby. I can’t tell you how much hurt for them. Even though I’ve been through it, there is still part of me that doesn’t know what to say or do.
To be honest, I have been venturing back into our story, to dig up those raw, deeply hidden feelings. Following the miscarriage was a dark time for me, and I’ve been reminding myself where my friends are at, to help them find healing too. To process this unimaginable pain.
You’re Not Alone!
For those of you who are hurting, I am praying for you. You are not alone, and God isn’t punishing you. God did not create death. Instead, He is taking care of your baby until you meet again in Heaven. That may not always be comforting, but it might later on.
For those of you who know someone hurting, pray for them. Check on them, but also give them space. ‘I’m sorry for your loss’ and hugs worked great for me. Just being there and listening is enough.
My Story – The Miscarriage Project
If you are interested in learning more about my story, and those of nine others sharing their grief/loss journeys, I encourage you to check out my book, The Miscarriage Project: Testimonials of Parents who found hope in God.
If you order from this website, I’m running a 50% off promotion on the book right now. Also, if you order from my site, you receive a signed copy of the book shipped right to you.
In honor of our babies, and Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness month, I wanted every couple who desires a book to have one.
For those of you who’ve normally kept up with my blog, must have noticed I haven’t written all summer. This is why:
1. We’ve Moved!
Towards the beginning of this year, I felt God was preparing my family and I for a big change. I had no inclination of what type of change this could be, but I felt many doors closing, and change imminent for us.
As of June 5th, 2020, and in the weeks to follow, it was made clear to my husband his job was no longer secure.
Since his personal medical history was being called into question, in relation to his depression the last year or so, we felt it was time to begin our search for another ministry position and place to live.
This is a large reason I couldn’t bring myself to write to all of you. I didn’t know how to respond to this painful, hurtful, and enraging circumstance we found ourselves in.
I didn’t want to hurt our past congregation, because they had nothing to do with this.
The pastor, the head deacon, and another deacon are to blame for this outrageous, and illegal course of action. The church and these people are to remain nameless, for their privacy.
The most painful part of this whole ordeal was the loss of a close friendship, and leaving the close friendships that remain in tact.
Also, leaving an entire group of people, who’ve loved on us and prayed for us, but not being able to tell them the truth – the real reason we moved.
Now the truth is out. The Lord gave me permission to finally share it.
Finally, in my devotional today, I came across this verse:
‘As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good, to bring it about that many people should be kept alive, as they are today. ‘ – Genesis 50:20
This seemed quite fitting for our situation this summer. Even though we were pushed out, under unfair and painful circumstances, God still means it for good.
My family, and Bold & Beautiful Inspirations Co., now reside in Wisconsin! So keep an eye out for more content and new books this fall!!
Most of you know this already, but we are expecting another baby! We found out shortly before the whole job drama blew up in our face, so we haven’t had much time to celebrate or communicate our joy to the world.
I am in late February and no, we don’t know the gender yet! lol. Keep an eye out for that announcement in October…
For Bold & Beautiful Inspirations Co., I’ve been contemplating a fresh vision. Being in a new place, a new ministry, and new stage of life, I wish to allow my business to grow as well.
Please join me in praying for direction and wisdom as I move forward. I pray my writing will change the world for the better, comfort those who are suffering, and inspire those who are lost and hopeless.
A portion of this new vision will be creating music videos on my YouTube channel, which I am very excited about! Also, finishing my chapter book I began in the spring.
If you haven’t already, please subscribe to this blog: thehavenblogger.com, and to my business newsletter, THE HAVEN NEWS, to read more of my writing and keep up with news from Bold & Beautiful Inspirations Co.
To contact me directly, please email: firstname.lastname@example.org
For those of you who are God-led and willing to do so, I have a BIG favor to ask of you.
This is not mandatory, nor is it demanded. This is not a whimsical request or an impersonal one.
This request has a purpose. This request will change lives.
A New Kind of Project
Many of you are already familiar with my book, The Miscarriage Project: Testimonials of Parents Who Found Hope in God.
Well, I am planning another book with similar format to this one, but not about miscarriage. This is about helping others through a different kind of tragedy.
Abuse comes in all kinds, but it is time to shine light into the darkness of our past. Healing cannot take place until we face the pain of our past head on.
My BIG Request
As a fellow victim of abuse, please hear my sincere request – to share your story, too.
As a victim, you never forget, but you are not alone in your suffering. My hope is to inspire others who’ve been abused to find true freedom from their pain.
That’s why I’m calling this book, The Freedom Project.
Again, I’m only asking those of you who are ready and willing to share your story of abuse. I am not asking those of you still deep in the suffering of your wounds.
For this project, I am asking for testimonials of abuse victims who’ve found peace and healingthrough faith in Jesus Christ.Also, for people who’s goal in sharing their story is to help others.
This is not to mudsling anyone responsible for abuse or use as an opportunity to play the blame game. All persons involved in sharing testimonies and all persons mentioned will be anonymous or names changed. This will ensure protection of privacy.
My Prayer for You
Finally, I am praying for all of you reading this. Whether you’ve been abused or not, we all have struggles. I pray you all find the freedom in Christ you’ve been yearning for.
You can email your story or any questions to: email@example.com
Galatians 6:2 NIV
“Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.”
John 8:31-32 NIV
“To the Jews who had believed him, Jesus said, “If you hold to my teaching, you are really my disciples. Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”
Luke 6:27-36 NIV
“But to you who are listening I say: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you.
If someone slaps you on one cheek, turn to them the other also. If someone takes your coat, do not withhold your shirt from them. Give to everyone who asks you, and if anyone takes what belongs to you, do not demand it back.
Do to others as you would have them do to you.
“If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? Even sinners love those who love them.
And if you do good to those who are good to you, what credit is that to you? Even sinners do that.
And if you lend to those from whom you expect repayment, what credit is that to you? Even sinners lend to sinners, expecting to be repaid in full.
But love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back. Then your reward will be great, and you will be children of the Most High, because he is kind to the ungrateful and wicked.
After watching I Still Believe tonight, I am in awe of the power of God, yet again!
I Still Believe
This movie is based on the true story of famous Christian singer, Jeremy Camp; of his rise to fame and his beautiful love story of him and his first wife.
My heart both hurts and is joyful. So full of the Holy Spirit, I can’t sleep without telling you all about it.
Our faith is strengthened by adversity and struggles, not cupcakes and unicorns- sorry to disappoint you.
This time in our lives is so unique in that everyone is struggling. Everyone is acknowledging a common struggle and banding together to find hope.
The problem is, anything they find that’s not Jesus will disappoint and fail them.
Now is the time to speak up. Now is the time to share your faith. Time and resources are not an excuse in a quarantined world.
What are you waiting for?
Speak up and let your faith do the talking. Be real, be honest, be faithful.
“For this reason I remind you to fan into flame the gift of God, which is in you through the laying on of my hands. For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline.
So do not be ashamed of the testimony about our Lord or of me his prisoner. Rather, join with me in suffering for the gospel, by the power of God. He has saved us and called us to a holy life—not because of anything we have done but because of his own purpose and grace.
This grace was given us in Christ Jesus before the beginning of time, but it has now been revealed through the appearing of our Savior, Christ Jesus, who has destroyed death and has brought life and immortality to light through the gospel.”
As a writer, I have been thinking of so much I could say. As a mom, I’ve been overwhelmed, and not sure how down deep and personal to be.
As A Citizen…
As most of you are well aware, this nation-wide, and pretty much world-wide quarantine is less than ideal. No one could have anticipated this happening in our world today.
Our world has technology, several have access to medical care, and the ability to travel anywhere in the world in record time.
Why would a pandemic be a problem?
As a Christian, I truly believe God is using this time of uncertainty and chaos, to bring peace, hope, and strengthen our faith.
We are most secure when we dwell in the safety of our shelter and fortress, our Almighty God.
As A Mom…
For me and my family, this period of isolation has been both a blessing and a curse.
Right before this virus disrupted our lives, I had confessed to my husband a specific concern.
I was so worried we would be sucked into the busyness that comes with each spring season. Sports, drama, graduations, concerts, outdoor activities, and whatever else you can think of.
However, because of the Corona virus and the mandatory quarantine, our schedules are wiped clean from last week, until the foreseeable future. I never imagined my prayer would be answered like this.
In addition, I have been struggling with maintaining my relationship with my school-age kids. For so long, I have been home with them, and having all the time in the world.
Deep in my heart, I miss that so much, but God has not led me to homeschool at this time.
Now, I again have all the time in the world with all of my children, this side of Heaven.
I am thankful God has heard the desires of my heart, and is redeeming this time with my kids.
So I choose to see this time as a gift from God.
To be transparent, I am not going to sit here and pretend this time in our world is not scary, unsettling, and discouraging.
Yet, I never imagined it would be a grief trigger, for my son in Heaven.
For me, the mere suggestion or possibility I could lose any of my children, or my husband, took my breath away. This fear caught me dead in my tracks, and I wept with sorrow.
I have no more control now over life and death, than I did almost four years ago.
Our pastor’s sermon this morning really challenged my heart. Storing up possessions doesn’t provide security, only God can do that for us. True peace can only come from the God of peace Himself.
I can’t stop our family from getting sick.
I can’t prevent my family from dying from the virus, let alone any other cause.
I can’t make toilet paper appear out of thin air, just because we ran out! (Yes, a little humor to lighten the mood.)
God is God, not me. God is in charge, not me. God has everything under control, and I have nothing under control, in my own power and strength.
Everything we have is God’s, but He loves us so much, He gives us everything we need.
Yes, I said NEED not WANT really bad or WANT because someone else has it.
As a Christian, as a citizen, as a wife, as a mom, and as a writer, I urge you to take a stand in your heart and mind.
Choose peace. Choose to trust God will take care of you. Choose to find joy in the blessings of today, not live in fear of tomorrow.
Choose Jesus Christ as your Savior, and you will never regret it, for eternity!
PRAY, PRAY, PRAY church! Don’t lose hope! We serve an all-powerful, mighty, loving God.
Ephesians 3:14-21 ESV
“For this reason I bow my knees before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth is named,
that according to the riches of his glory he may grant you to be strengthened with power through his Spirit in your inner being,
so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith–that you, being rooted and grounded in love,
may have strength to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled with all the fullness of God.
Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever. Amen.”
Hebrews 2:1 ESV
“Therefore we must pay much closer attention to what we have heard, lest we drift away from it.”
2 Chronicles 7:11-16 ESV
“Thus Solomon finished the house of the LORD and the king’s house. All that Solomon had planned to do in the house of the LORD and in his own house he successfully accomplished.
Then the LORD appeared to Solomon in the night and said to him: “I have heard your prayer and have chosen this place for myself as a house of sacrifice. When I shut up the heavens so that there is no rain, or command the locust to devour the land, or send pestilence among my people,
if my people who are called by my name humble themselves, and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways,
then I will hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and heal their land.
Now my eyes will be open and my ears attentive to the prayer that is made in this place. For now I have chosen and consecrated this house that my name may be there forever. My eyes and my heart will be there for all time.”
Proverbs 3:5-12 ESV
“Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.
Be not wise in your own eyes; fear the LORD, and turn away from evil. It will be healing to your flesh and refreshment to your bones.
Honor the LORD with your wealth and with the firstfruits of all your produce; then your barns will be filled with plenty, and your vats will be bursting with wine.
My son (to King Solomon from his dad, King David), do not despise the LORD’s discipline or be weary of his reproof, for the LORD reproves him whom he loves, as a father the son in whom he delights.”