Posted in Living BOLD, My Books, My Faith

Book Release Party ~ Reflections

Hooray! My first ever book release party is in the books!

Thank you Erin for helping me set up my display!! It looked great!!

Thank You

First, I want to give a special thank you and shout out to Eric and Kristen Meeter, owners of Pressed Studio + Store in downtown Spencer. You both were an amazing couple to work with, and am so thankful for your wisdom, guidance, and hospitality.

Second, I want to thank Bri Schubert, owner of Bri Lifestyle Photography, for capturing the evening on film. Those pictures to come later, but so thankful for her willingness to be a part of the night.

with Bri Schubert

Last but not least, I want to thank my friends and family, as well as everyone else who was in attendance. As the author, I was so blessed to see the faces of those who the book will be impacting and I pray it is a blessing to each and everyone who reads it.


Reflection

As I reflect on the events of last night’s book release party, I find myself both joyous and thankful, as well as resistant and distant to God. Let me explain why.

The Due Date

As some of you know, yesterday was not only the book release party, but it was also my son’s due date, three years ago. Some asked if I did this on purpose, but I myself didn’t realize it until after the event had been scheduled.

When I realized the common date, I felt this sense of awe and deep sadness. What a better way to honor his memory, on his due date anniversary, than to share his story, our story, to those who need it most.

As a grieving mom, I am so thankful for the growth and healing that has taken place since then.

Vulnerable to Resentment

Yet, there is still part of me that is vulnerable, angry, and resentful. Just because I published a book about my experience, does not mean I stopped struggling with these feelings.

No matter how much I’ve already written about our miscarriage, it still stings. No matter how many times I’ve poured my heart and soul out, sharing with someone, there is still a somberness that remains. Can anybody relate?

Have in Common

As I was talking to several women and couples at the signing, I began to see a pattern among their experiences.

Not so Comforting Words

First, words from others can be more hurtful than helpful. If you haven’t been through it, don’t pretend to understand. Don’t try to fix it – because let’s face it, you’re not God – and you can’t.

Never assume it’s anyone’s fault but Satan, the deviser of evil, destruction, death, and despair. Who are you to know the true reason a baby dies? Who are you to yoke someone in despair, with an impossibly heavy burden?

Husbands

From many women I’ve talked to, several have made comments about their husbands or significant other’s reaction to the miscarriage.

Sadly, many say their husband dismisses it and disregards the wife’s feelings about the loss of their child.

After talking to my husband on several occasions, I have some compassion for these dads. My husband explained he didn’t get a chance to bond with our son. As such, his grieving looked much different than mine, and lasted much less time.

However, I urge husbands to have compassion on your wives. Don’t push her away because you are afraid to be vulnerable with her, or to seem weak. She needs to see you are hurting, so she knows she isn’t alone. You are the father, you are the only one she can truly share this baby with, and the loss of them.

A Success

To be honest, I have struggled for weeks with anxiety and worrying about this release party. Not because of anything circumstantial, but simply because of my inner struggle.

Yesterday, I was finally about to put that to rest. Those who attending the party blessed me with their stories and support. I am truly thankful for the treasure God produced out of our tragedy.

*I dedicate the party and this post to our son. We love you Sweetheart!*

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Posted in My Faith

Success/Attention Related Anxiety

For those of you who’ve been following my publishing journey, The Miscarriage Project is officially published! In addition, I am selling copies as well (1,500 to be exact).

You might assume that all the new attention surrounding my book being publshed, would make me feel complete; like I’ve finally arrived.

Wrong.

Don’t get me wrong, I am excited to see what God is already doing with the book. It’s the behind the scenes I am referring to.

To make this work, I’ve had to learn how to run a business from scratch. No marketing degree, no business degree – just a B.S. in Biblical Studies.

However, God reassures me I have just what I need to succeed. When I am weak, He is strong. With man it’s impossible, but with God, all things are possible through Him and His will.

When I think of success, I think of using my strengths to achieve. Not the case at all. With God, He gets all the glory, so He uses our weaknesses more than our strengths.

Kind of ironic, don’t you think? But He’s God, so He gets to make the rules.

Please pray for me!

I am guessing I’ve struggled with anxiety for a long time, I just didn’t know what it was. It escalated this past year, after having my youngest child.

Even in my worrying weakness of anxiety, God is strong. Even though I can’t breathe, He provides the breath of life. He makes success possible, but not the world’s measure of success, His.

Renew your mind with the reading of God’s Word. There are many nuggets of wisdom, we have to put forth the effort to find them. Let’s get digging!

Posted in My Books

The Miscarriage Project is Published!!

For those of you who’ve been following my writing and publishing journey, of The Miscarriage Project, I have exciting news!!

Finally Published!

After a three-and-a-half-year long journey, The Miscarriage Project is finally published and to purchase, as of yesterday!!

Behind the Cover

Here is the official Cover Reveal for my special blog readers:

Cover Reveal

It may seem a bit simplistic, but that is how I intended it to be. I didn’t want to trigger anyone who might read the book, with anything too sentimental or graphic.

Instead, the idea came to me of the three hearts, you see above.

Red & Black Hearts

The red heart signifies the life of the child, but also the love of the parents for the child. The black heart signifies the death of the child, as well as the grief, pain, and loss experienced by the parents.

Golden Heart

However, my favorite heart is the gold heart, which signifies the eternal life with Jesus that child has, as well as the hope parents can have in Jesus Christ, their ultimate Healer and Comforter.

I Have a Story…

Since God gave me this idea for the cover, rich with symbolism, an awesome coincidence happened.

While I was running an errand for a friend, in an office, I spotted something – and what do you suppose I saw?

You got it! Three hearts, colored with the exact three colors you see above! This decoration had an arrow through it, which looked quite exciting in my opinion.

Words of Wisdom

However, after consulting some trusted people in my life, I decided to not include the arrow, because it may give the wrong message.

I though it would be neat, because the Bible talks about children being like arrows in the quiver of a warrior, and I loved the symbolism there .

Even though we lost these children, their lives still matter and matter for God’s eternal kingdom.

Although, to others, it may represent their death and pain, and that was not what I wanted for my readers.

The Cause

My vision for this book is to help as many parents as possible!

Here’s how you can help:

Pray!

1 – First and foremost, you can pray. Pray for the book to reach the people who so desperately need it. Pray it is a comfort for them.

Purchase

2 – Purchase a book for yourself or a friend. This way, you can share this wonderful resource and pass the word, so the book can reach farther than we can imagine! Here is the current link to purchase the book:

https://www.westbowpress.com/en/bookstorehttps://www.westbowpress.com/en/bookstore

This will take you to the WestBow Press bookstore, and you can either search The Miscarriage Project, or look under New Releases to find it.

The Miscarriage Project is also available on Amazon, and in paperback, hardcover, and ebook formats.

Donate to Hospitals

3 – I am currently sponsoring a fundraiser, raising money to pay for these books. Once these are purchased with donations, they will then be donated to local hospitals!

To donate to the Books for Hospitals fundraiser, you can follow the Facebook link below to my fundraiser:

https://www.facebook.com/donate/951374825227793/

God is so amazing! He even worked out for a friend I met through B.S.F. (Bible Study Fellowship) last year, to contact me. It just so happens she works for our local hospital’s OB department, and is in charge of their bereavement services.

Thanks be to God!

Can I get an Amen to that?! I am so beyond blessed by God’s faithfulness and I pray our pain and sorrow can ease someone else’s.

Thank you for your prayers and support through this journey! I am so excited to see God’s impact with this book and how He will transform lives for the glory of His name.

Posted in My Books, Uncategorized

“The Miscarriage Project” Update!

I am proud to announce that The Miscarriage Project is in the second phase of publishing – design!!

As the author, I can’t express to you how excited I am to share this publishing journey with you, but even more to get this book into your hands!

The Book

Ten parents share their miscarriage grief journeys, describing their struggles with grief and the hope they found in God.

BOLD & Beautiful

Purpose

My goal in writing this book is to provide a resource for other parents experiencing the loss of a child.

Unfortunately, I am not alone in my grief. Too many women have lost children. Too many men have suffered alongside.

Today, you have a chance to make a difference!

Fundraiser for Hospitals

My goal with this fundraiser is to raise $5,000, in order to purchase, and then donate The Miscarriage Project books to local hospitals.

My hope is for the hospitals to give these to parents experiencing miscarriage, as a resource.

As they grieve, I want them to know they are not alone! 

Below is a link to a fundraiser I am running until the end of the month.

https://www.facebook.com/donate/951374825227793/?fundraiser_source=external_url

Are you ready to join The Miscarriage Project movement? Let’s go!

BOLD & Beautiful

#TheHaven #TheMiscarriageProject

Posted in My Faith, Uncategorized

Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month

No one likes to admit it, but this month is significant for many reasons.

October

Personally, I am not a Halloween celebrator. However, I think it is fitting to remember the death of our children during such a dark time in our culture’s celebrations.

Officially, October 15th is National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day. In the UK, they devote an entire week, called Baby Loss Awareness Week.

https://www.lullabytrust.org.uk/wp-content/uploads/BLAW-logo.jpg

Parents

This month brings such a swirl of emotions. I miss my baby, but then I wouldn’t have on of my daughters.

I didn’t want to write about miscarriage, but that’s what God has called me to do.

Photo by Susanne Jutzeler on Pexels.com

Too many women have lost children. Too many women haven’t had the chance.

Too many dads never knew their child. Too many dads lose the mom’s heart, because they are consumed by grief.

BOLD & Beautiful

Abortion

I don’t understand the logic that excuses women to take their child’s life.

However, I realize how disillusioned they have become. The weight of this guilt is not bore on the mother and father alone.

Unplanned Movie

On that subject, the movie Unplanned recently came out. I commend those involved in the production, for being bold and brave enough to shed the light of truth on this dark issue.

I have heard great things about this movie, but I have been cautioned by caring people, it would be too much for me.

Maybe someday, I will have the courage, and be at a place to stomach viewing it. Yet, I won’t watch it alone.

Miscarriage

Miscarriage was traumatic, to say the least.

Though I very much support the Pro-Life cause, witnessing the graphic deaths of other children could put me over the edge.

Does anyone else relate to what I’m saying?

Feeling Guilty

Initially, I remember feeling so guilty!

Guilty because I didn’t feel ready to have another baby. Guilty because I exercised too much. Guilty because I ate the wrong thing. Guilty because I took antibiotics, when I was sick, and didn’t yet know I was pregnant.

Moving Forward

In order to move on, we must throw off the baggage of guilt. We must fight to see the silver lining and not let Satan torture us with what ifs.

BOLD & Beautiful

Lean on Jesus to help you heal. You can be furiously angry, but God did not kill your baby. We live in a broken world, fully of death and disease, destruction and loss – He did not create it that way.

Photo by it’s me neosiam on Pexels.com

Instead, choose to hope in a new tomorrow. Choose to move forward, holding your precious baby in your heart forever.